I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
