Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

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(650): View more from California

Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.

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(281): View more from Texas

Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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(972): View more from Texas

It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs

(719): View more from Colorado

It's spelled Olympics

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