she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize