there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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