Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
