felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
