I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
