I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
third nipple confirmed
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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