Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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