I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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