I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
