I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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