Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
