I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
