i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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