super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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