so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
