girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
