brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
