best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
