Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
