take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
