so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
operation have a gay friend backfired
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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