I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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