Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
