I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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