thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
