dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
