YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think my mom watched the whole time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize