I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
