So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
