ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
