you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
