we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
