when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
