I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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