His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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