i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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