Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
