uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
