But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
