sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
