Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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