We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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