you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm too high and old for this...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
