do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
