Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
