We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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