chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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