Whoa Z and x make the same sound
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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