i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
