No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
