i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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