i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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