If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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