What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
