Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
