She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
