You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
