Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she told me i tasted like america
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
