If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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