Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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