I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
