C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
